Thursday, August 23, 2007

Sopoforic Thursday Evening Crap...

Why I Abandoned My Blog and Why I'm Back

  • I was too busy reading the Takeover Code.
  • I figured no one would read this shit anyway. Who gives a rat's ass about random stuff written by a random law student ?
  • I was trying to get through Books 1 and 2 of the Inheritance trilogy.
  • I was enjoying fifth year watching shit movies. (more on that later).
  • Four and a Half years of legal education have left my literary side dull and pathetic.

Also, I'm back because erm, I'm f*****g bored.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007


Safe.
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Saturday, April 28, 2007

The Shape of Things to Come

Its a boring Friday evening and as I happily cram random stuff about the Competition Commission, it strikes me, than one week from now, I will unofficially be a fifth year. Strange.

Three classes a day. Good. Getting to go to Nanking all the time. Good. Not bothering about attendance. (not as much as we all do now, anyway). Good. Watching Garden State for the 100th time. Good. Being able to finally read Zadie Smith. Good. Having time to write again. Good.

A year closer to moving out into the real world and being an adult. Not sure about that one.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Random Thursday morning fiction...

Under the gnarled Zuzistu tree, beyond the blue bedded river, and behind the fields where the 76th Great Battle had been fought (and won), sat that old African storyteller Mamma Meringuei.(of the Kira Hari tribe). She sat alone in her solitude, which was how it had always been, for she was no ordinary woman. It was Mamma Meringuei who had lived through the Great Battles, the assasination of King Ecuadore, the rebellions of the witch-doctors, the birth of the new prophet and the struggle for the Bolvana jewels.

Tonight, they were having white men for dinner. Mamma loved the taste of the while man- even though she had no more teeth left, the younger ones would always bring her the tender and juicy bits. It was her only passion in life, the other being Samburu music. For those who don't know, Samburu is a special and rare kind of bird that is found in the deepest African jungles of the old world.

But tonight, Mamma had reason to worry. Mbaba-Mbere, her 47th great granddaughter (the one with the captivating brown eyes) had naively pierced herself with the thorns of the Yangombi plant, a deceptively simple looking thing with brilliant orange-violet flowers. It is said that the poison of a Yangombi turns a woman's blood cold and her skin icy blue, until with glassy eyes all she can do is stare at the outer world helplessly. It is a punishment worse than death, for in it's manifestation, the venom grants immortality, and the wretched one must remain forever, watching all her loved ones die. According to lore, the male species will, on contact with the plant, die an instantaneous, painless death, unaware of their end.

In happier times, Mbaba Mbere and Mamma Meringuei would spend their idle days lying around, searching for Dantey fish in the streams and singing songs extolling the Gods. Mamma was determined to get her favourite companion back. She mournfully (and faithfully) paid tribute to all her Gods, Raluvimbha, En-Kai and even dared to summon Sno-Nysoa, the almighty creator God who had quarreled with Earth over his divine children and was extremely cross with her. Alas, no one came and Mbaba Mbere(the one with the captivating brown eyes) continued to grow bluer as her blood turned colder.

The sun sank back, swallowed by the all encompassing black waters. The smell of Death spread itself majestically through the mournful evening and just as Mamma was heading back to her hut, she heard a rather raspy voice call out her full name, and was startled. No one, except for her dear husband knew her complete name, the one containing blessings from the 27 Rain Gods.

It was the Tikdoshe- a malevolent dwarf of the Zulu tradition, that does not believe in plurality. Tikdoshe have simply one arm, one leg and one side, their faces almost always have jagged craters that bring out their wide, purple eyes. In African tradition they are not honoured and are treated with contempt, for they are, in truth harbingers of mischief and death.

"I have the solution for you woman." rasped the dwarf
"What is it you seek evil being, that you come to me and disgrace the purity of the air around me and my tribe?"
"Ah- I come to give your child life. It is I, who holds the key to her future. Shall you not at least strive to possess it woman?"
"What do you ask for in return?"
"I dare you to compete with me. Should you succeed you shall be given the key, but should you fail, you shall pay me with your life. And I warn you- it shall be a death worse than a thousand deaths, for you shall suffer and writhe and scream while I watch in glee. Do you accept?"
"I do, you foul vermin."

They competed in completing ardous tasks. They slayed vixen, captured water droplets, created Samburu music, chopped colossal trees, ate live scarab beetles…for everything the Tikdoshe did, the frail old woman matched up. Finally in a fit of seething rage he challenged her to duel.

And so they fought. They clashed in air,while angry birds of prey shreiked and flaped around them ,waiting for they end to come. They duelled underwater, startling creatures of carnivorous extremes. They wrestled on land- the only place the Tikdoshe managed to overpower his opponent, but her faithful Zuzistu trees came to her rescue and she won again. They even fought in the other dimension- but the spirits of Mammas wise ancestors never left her side and with great determination she ousted the dwarf again.

Ultimately, he pleaded tiredness and gave her the key to Mbaba Mbere's life- the bone of a young Masai fish, taken from the deepest point in the Kaka-Guie river.

"How did you do it woman?" asked the incensed Tikdoshe, deprived of his pleasure of contributing to Death's cause.

Mamma smiled.
"My dear spirit, discovery in itself can be fatal. We can only learn so much and live. You shall go now…"

Mamma hobbled off to cure Mbaba Mbere, her 47th great grand daughter. (the one with the captivating brown eyes.)

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

THE RED BUS AND I...

Here’s the thing about red bus rides, especially when you’re on them alone. You watch people, and you learn. For instance, you learn about the ammamas and the athaiyas and master srinus and baby vijayshanthis and how they carry sacks of vegetables from the big bad city and go home. And how they all have snazzy cell phone tunes and speak sporadic English. And how lady bus conductors yell at sloshed men trying to squeeze into the ladies seats.

The red bus is a little piece of daily Andhra life. Young Miss Sugunas, with Malley flowers in their hair, going to Prasads with young men their mothers would disapprove of. Old aunties with shaved heads. (Tirupathi, of course). Fat uncles wearing tight safari suits and mundus. Drooling babies wearing pink frocks. Saliva, lots of it.

I am the spoilt Delhi kid in the back of the bus, the one that does not fit in. The red bus, is my path to freedom. To Chinese food. (not authentic, of course- it never is authentic). The road to Prasads, where Bommarilu will run to packed houses and Aaronofsky movies will never release. To Sangeet theatre, where the air cooling does not work, and Paradise, where the fried prawns are so fucking cheap its not funny. Where McDonalds is the ultimate in cool and red ribbons on oiled hair are chic.

The average red bus ride is hot, cramped, sweaty and long as hell. It is also, I think, something that has defined my years at law school.